I started this blog with the intention of writing more often. Sharing my thoughts and ideas. I wanted another creative outlet (as if I don’t have enough going on). And at times, just like with all of my creative activities, I become so manic I cannot stop… and I write, write, write. Or at least I did in the beginning. Somewhere, along the line, I started thinking too much… I stopped “just sitting down” to write. I started getting an idea and instead of running with it, I was preoccupied with everything else I had going on… and sometimes when the moment is gone it takes a while for it to come back.
The other issue is over thinking it… if its a blog and I am putting myself out there, I want it to mean something. Shouldn’t what I write matter? Otherwise, who will read it and why?? But guess what? It doesn’t matter!!! An outlet is for me, not you. I can write this blog, all day, everyday, and its gonna be here, whether anyone reads it or not. And the fact is, you are never going to please everyone! Some people wont like this, and most probably wont read it. But that doesn’t matter. Someone said, what other people think of me, is none of my business. (Touche kermit, touche…)
So that leaves me with this. I am attempting, as of late, to focus more on my self care. Taking care of my family, only works (successfully), if I can take care of myself. I have definitely made progress in the last few years, to honor things that are solely “me”. Not the mom or the wife, but the woman- Krystal. I am allowed to be an adult and have a life outside of my family. It’s okay, if I need time to go sit, with a friend, and gossip for hours on end; my kids will survive. And guess what I am teaching them? I am teaching them, that having a life and desires and thoughts and talents, all your own, is important. You can be a mom and a wife and a worker and a friend…. and hell you can be an actor, and a writer and a roller derby star or a seamstress or a comic book artist or whatever it is you want to be. And that is OKAY.
And so, I am finding better ways to focus on stuff. Maybe this is also my therapy. I have my crocheting, my essential oils, my friends and my family. I will take whatever I can get to keep me sane. Life is chaos and uncontrollable at times, but its also amazing and unpredictable and exciting and rewarding…
In my day job, I am now facilitating another group… a creative writing class (go figure lol). It’s time to practice what I preach… the most important thing an author can teach you:
Rule #1 JUST WRITE
for the sake of writing….